tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11197811866064229162024-02-07T08:35:14.977-08:00Honesty the Lost ArtHonesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-2628725535812748912011-07-24T16:11:00.000-07:002011-07-24T16:28:36.764-07:00Thank youLord thank you for having your hand on me. I can look back and see how you shut doors and closed me in to protect me. Thank you for growing me closer to you in a time when all around me was darkness. You set my heart on fire for you. My earnest prayer was to be used by you. And even though I didn't know it at the time I was in a battle for my life. Lord thank you for choosing me. Thank you for blinding me to anything that would not make me stronger in you Lord. When I was lonely you drew me closer to you, when I was hurt you built me up. I've sought you earnestly and you have taught me to put complete faith in you and you alone. You have never failed me Lord. Thank You.<br /><br />I was a part of United Faith for 10 years. The man I thought to be my pastor, my shepherd turned out to be a very evil minded man. He hurt many people with his sins but the Lord my God cannot be mocked. Vengeance belongs to the Lord and He will not be mocked. My prayer continues to be that the flock be strengthened by this and that they draw closer to the Lord and never put faith in man. <br /><br />My God is so good, that even while I was in the fire I was untouched. I was able to blossom and grow because I was seeking the Lord with all my heart. I was bearing fruit while this evil man was choking the life out of others. My God will bring beauty from the ashes of those who were scorched. God is good all the time, this is my prayer, draw near to Him.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-75255546524405768092011-06-01T07:42:00.000-07:002011-06-01T07:59:52.130-07:00Where I find myselfThis week I found myself wrestling with the big questions in life. What direction am I heading? Am I even moving? This month I've had friends graduate, move away, get married, buy a home, have a baby shower, and get stationed in Germany. There are so many many changes. May is always the hardest month for me. It's the month of changes. My 10 year reunion is fast approaching and I find myself in a panic. Should I go? What do I even have to show for this past decade? The truth is I've done a lot. I may not have finished my degree and started my teaching career but I'm close. I've traveled the world. I've descipled people. I've prayed for miracles and watched as they became reality. I am still enchanted by the life that God has let me live. I'm not married but I'm not scared either. I'm open and ready. I've done well and while others may wonder what I've done with this time, I'm not ashamed to say I've served,I've made mistakes, I've been humbled, I've been stretched and torn, and I'm better for it all.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-36360144028675457242010-12-22T08:25:00.000-08:002010-12-22T08:52:04.028-08:00somewhere between a dream and prayer<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFR9rqTapXBshpD-oPaAFmzhM0ArfCdUbAWy7aM05KpNPyudx6VoQKORk5xHVeMRP4B2Czud4v4pSm7OK1kFQ9bMk5IzET53tFUpK4a65kaCWYtkMBU5ErzkqEhdBYoPS7zLdAuxWeywk/s1600/Ireland+2010+035.JPG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFR9rqTapXBshpD-oPaAFmzhM0ArfCdUbAWy7aM05KpNPyudx6VoQKORk5xHVeMRP4B2Czud4v4pSm7OK1kFQ9bMk5IzET53tFUpK4a65kaCWYtkMBU5ErzkqEhdBYoPS7zLdAuxWeywk/s200/Ireland+2010+035.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553550406098649026" border="0" /></a><br />At night before I go to sleep I like to pray. I usually ask God to protect my family more specifically my brother where ever he may be. To give him eyes on the back of his head, to give him an instinct that sets off his spiritual alarm when he is in danger. To keep my family healthy. To keep my dad's heart healthy and all the vessels functioning properly. For my sister to forgive. For me to change, be better, closer, and eventually I fall asleep. I often pray myself to sleep and when I wake up one of my first thoughts is "thank you Jesus" and I pray some more and might fall asleep again. Somewhere in between a prayer and a dream I dreamt that I was introducing my children. "This is Ezra," I said..."and this is my daughter Risa." Then all of a sudden I was wide awake. Risa? I thought with a smile. That means laughter in Spanish. What a perfectly beautiful name for any child of mine don't you think? So when that day comes I can tell my daughter that somewhere between a prayer and a dream I was introduced to my daughter Risa who I knew would bring me such joy.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-47010427955950683602010-12-21T07:58:00.000-08:002010-12-21T08:19:22.063-08:00I miss my parents<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8nPE10ZH6wPpeissz_icEb-76KaESSy19s3dyhOWNAr44-zPqPDCT5VOWABlcFcfDTMseRgrvcQIc4Wdw6tgLhV-6NwZ5MxQsAlydG9IVqWKRw2xD8xrCci3FX3UmFC2UZle1IXYBQc/s1600/momanddad.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib8nPE10ZH6wPpeissz_icEb-76KaESSy19s3dyhOWNAr44-zPqPDCT5VOWABlcFcfDTMseRgrvcQIc4Wdw6tgLhV-6NwZ5MxQsAlydG9IVqWKRw2xD8xrCci3FX3UmFC2UZle1IXYBQc/s200/momanddad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553170843839052098" border="0" /></a><br />This is the first time in a while that I am going to stay in Vegas for Christmas. I don't like that. I usually plan to go somewhere. This year there is no trip to Washington, or Indiana :( ....yes sad face. As I am getting older I appreciate my parents and whole family a lot more. I wish we had one of the families that all came together for the holidays but that just can't happen. We are spread all over the nation. Doreen with 3 kids lives in Washington, Carlos with 1and a 1/2 kids is deployed to God know's where, Michel is here with 4 boys, Jessica and my grandparents with 4 and a 1/2 lives in Indiana and my momma and dad in Alaska. More than anything I would love for us all to live closer together. So that we could take a day trip and just meet at whoever's house is in the middle. You know like in all the Christmas movies. I dream of a white Christmas. Where the passers by can look through our bay window and see the christmas tree all aglow, the whole family sitting at the table, just as the it begins to snow, candles lit, children playing all the Christmas music they just learned on their instruments....just give me one of those a year and I will be happy. I miss having my family together. I miss it all. I think we should all move to Indiana.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-10814536509814032612010-10-11T09:59:00.000-07:002010-10-11T10:21:55.725-07:00its been a while<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8vvE-wBDv29nAm76GJ6mOCnsAREaZarKk5nDuqjNdFoAZMIS7lqY4vl-YsjyMLTaECruCjj_tnvQcUTKm5a3k606O1lErAnQHF3ua2PPB0EfGJLnOAS8_fvtgSutTuz85QaE7mjmjpvY/s1600/nicole+ireland+538.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8vvE-wBDv29nAm76GJ6mOCnsAREaZarKk5nDuqjNdFoAZMIS7lqY4vl-YsjyMLTaECruCjj_tnvQcUTKm5a3k606O1lErAnQHF3ua2PPB0EfGJLnOAS8_fvtgSutTuz85QaE7mjmjpvY/s320/nicole+ireland+538.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5526839922167835346" border="0" /></a><br />So ...lets see<br /><br /><br />I've come to realize that i have been trusted with this life in this time. I can make what I will of it. Now the question that moves me. What next? I went to Ireland this summer. It was one of the greatest adventures of my life thus far. I was able to see ancient homes, churches, and a culture that was completely new to me. I had nights in the pub and afternoons in the garden. I was able to share that time with my family and I couldn't have imagined just how much I needed it. Joe and Mags Stenson were the sweetest couple there. They went out of their way to care for us and make us feel at home.<br /><br /> I some how made it through the month of weddings and came out of it happy and unscathed: which at my age and single status is a small miracle. I guess I didn't take time to realize just how important having girl friends has been. Layla made a speech at Dee Dee's wedding and she said that a friend is someone that you can say what you think that too? I thought I was the only one in the world who did that!.... and I think she is right. Thank you ladies for letting me know I am not the only girl in the world who thinks crazy thoughts, has insecurities, or is positive she is going to fall flat on her face and break her teeth. :) I love it....and I seem to be cherishing it more than ever now that friends are getting married and moving on to new stages of life. I find myself struggling with the feeling of being left behind, after our talks I see that I'm not the only one. Oddly that lessens the sting of it all. Its time for something new again. I've settled back into all that is comfortable and familiar. This world is changing before my eyes. I better get a move on. How do I find my vision. I need to figure that out before I do anything else.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-56201647022338678432010-07-19T15:14:00.000-07:002010-07-19T16:04:57.220-07:00Singleness and SolitudeSo this is were I find myself again. I am not quite at the place I was before but it all seems very familiar. The only difference is that I enjoy it. I am single and not looking. There was a time when I was afraid of this. When I resented it. Solitude. I not only don't mind the thought now but look forward to time alone. Isn't it funny how people change. I was watching this sermon where a young pastor was explaining why he was not married. There was nothing wrong with him. He was just single. He asked a question that stuck in my head. He said "what are you doing with you singleness?"<br /><br /> ... ... It really got me thinking. Am I taking advantage of the opportunities I have as a single woman that I wouldn't have otherwise? <br /><br /> To my shock the answer was YES! As a single woman I am able to devote myself to high school girls at camp. As a single woman I was able to move to Washington in my sister's time of need. As a single woman I've traveled the Caribbean and Ireland. As a single woman I've been able to join ministries, start ministries, and lead studies. Not in spite of my singleness but because of it. It has allowed me to grow deep roots, flower fully, and bare great fruit.<br /><br /> The young pastor talked about young women who are just thirsty for relationships. I fell into that mindset for about a year. I was convinced that there must be something utterly wrong that I was content to have no special man in my life. I started noticing all the couples in my church. All my friends who had gotten married recently...and then the cruelest question was planted in my heart...."what about me Lord?" <br /><br /> I had done everything right. I didn't flirt or tease men. I didn't go out of my way to be noticed. I was heavily involved with all things Christ related. He said that He would give me the desires of my heart and He did....everything but my husband. And the cold question resounded again... "what about me?" This time it was a little different, there was a little anger behind it. So I tried to do things on my own and nearly ruined a friendship or two. Only to be back here. Not quite where I started from but close. The difference though almost unnoticeable is my attitude of heart. I've seen enough now to trust again. God has given me a taste of the things that I thought I had been missing out on. I was seeking one relationship at the risk of losing it all. It all boils down to this. I will wait. And while I am waiting I will continue to serve. I will learn how to put God first again and not me. These are the things that are worthwhile. I am making the most of my singleness. Are you?Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-81390197668997517062009-08-31T14:11:00.000-07:002009-08-31T15:21:31.537-07:00on life's sorrows<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi8J5Bc05tPKYUaGmXaISXEhyphenhyphenJVVjgD92O6Pp8T-6No5A0R5qVeSUeoOVyS42pfVfmV5joFOJAQJbatLsuyO2SqLk_uw3WPjHpLd-Ns8bUDh7RB3_9pVdNAeXrmtnSvvhePtJqCIs5nSc/s1600-h/DSC05256.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5376256548874674898" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi8J5Bc05tPKYUaGmXaISXEhyphenhyphenJVVjgD92O6Pp8T-6No5A0R5qVeSUeoOVyS42pfVfmV5joFOJAQJbatLsuyO2SqLk_uw3WPjHpLd-Ns8bUDh7RB3_9pVdNAeXrmtnSvvhePtJqCIs5nSc/s320/DSC05256.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>It was as if I was watching it all happen in front of me but could do nothing. My loved ones were just out of reach on a ship. The sky darkens and suddenly clouds and thunder roll in. Lightning strikes. I could see their faces clearly. Their reactions. I just watch helplessly as they all go down. Sinking slowly. I watch the chaos, the panic, the pain. But it was out of my reach and all I can do was watch tragedy unfold. Hear the devastation in their voices. See the effects of it all. As I stand safe and sound on solid ground wishing it was me. Wishing that somehow I could just hit the rewind button. But there is none. This is reality. I have no way to stop or change this. I stand here full of guilt, but safe. Only I am not. I am drowning too. Drowning on dry land in the weight of it all.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>That's how it was for me this summer. Not for very long but still terrible for that short amount of time. Then I realized something. I was done morning and I was not alone. I went to Catalina to meet with my God. He restored me. I am better. I am stronger. I've been renewed.</div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-69726737536034256402009-08-29T13:08:00.001-07:002009-08-29T13:08:53.189-07:00EVERYTHING in life is SPIRITUAL1 John 4Test the Spirits 1Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.<br />Why do we Christians keep trying to pretend that there is nothing evil out to get us? You can't believe in God and not believe that satan is real, alive and after us. Jesus tells us so time and time again. He warns us about this guy. Man, come on people we need to start looking at everything through our spirit eyes first. How can you just jump into things and pretend that you didn't know any better? Really guys. Really come on. You need to start consulting God in your every step instead of just "singing " about it. Test people's spirit and once you have an answer you know they are either of God or not. Then you have a choice to stay dwell in it or leave it. (resist the devil and he will flee) Life isn't as hard as we pretend lets just make the right choices and not blame the outcome on other people or circumstances. We will have trials and tests in our lives why don't we dedicate our hearts to overcoming instead of settleing in with defeat. No. I refuse because where you settle is where you die. I want more. I always will. I can't stay stagnent. If you're not growing you are dying. I can't settle for death when Jesus died that I might live, and live life abundantly. ugh. come get some. The blessings are raining down.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-47274018404111307302009-08-05T12:52:00.000-07:002009-08-05T19:34:47.783-07:00The "Jacob" in me: he faught for his blessings and I will tooThrough the tragedy of it all i refuse to let go. In fact I find myself fighting harder than before wrestling with my faith and my God for the blessings I need. I was made for this. It would be easier not to fight. To just let go, but how can I turn away? How can I run from the reach of His embrace? Niether hieght nor depth can seperate me from the Love of my God, my savior Jesus Christ. Only I can do that. I can put walls up(like I am so good at doing). I can turn a deaf ear to His whispers into my soul. I can push Him away. I think about it....but then the moment passess and I press on with a gusto that knows no begining or end. I can see no end to this relationship. Your perfect love Lord is what I struggle for. You tell us time and time again that we will endure hardships. I find myself wrestling with you...just to be near to you and when I am through I rise and walk away limping. I am wounded, but Im blessed because of it. I walk side by side with you and though this life brings me pain I find the beauty that you have placed in the midst of difficulty. I chose You Lord. How can I not?Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-61357312409404485152009-06-03T22:53:00.000-07:002009-06-04T10:59:41.881-07:00The crush: a glimpse into my stupid heart<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs7QXKZFSkeMD9Xm8lrTL72JWA5HmMrMAg6LzRTvqs9mfShAidBltySsy00D6rV52OQJv595gwTRx-4Itb5IU0PQhcfxeT4pho9IQj4rZu8nShC1bWJU0D06hQM9zmiBKgZxLQyCfvuio/s1600-h/nicoles+pictures+217.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343532702304237810" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs7QXKZFSkeMD9Xm8lrTL72JWA5HmMrMAg6LzRTvqs9mfShAidBltySsy00D6rV52OQJv595gwTRx-4Itb5IU0PQhcfxeT4pho9IQj4rZu8nShC1bWJU0D06hQM9zmiBKgZxLQyCfvuio/s320/nicoles+pictures+217.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>So...I've had this crush for a little while. I broke my promise to myself and told a few friends...yet still vowing not to tell the crush. I was sent a secret message by one of them that said:<br /><br />" A rose' beauty is meant to be seen and not hidden behind brick walls. But how much more beautiful is that rose when the walls are torn down and you see what was behind them all that time."<br /><br />with all honesty my only response was:<br /><br />what can i say, I guess having the garden a "secret" makes it a little special...and I am a coward in that area. I am never quite sure what people may think of the rose so I do gaurd it with my walls of stone...even i am surprised that any thing could grow there to begin with. and maybe even a little more scared of the person who made it grow.<br /><br /><br />I think there is such a thing as guarding your heart too much. Then it just becomes overgrown with thorns and weeds...forgotten. Instead of being the secret garden it becomes the forgotten one and when you feel something blossoming in a place you thought nearly dead it is just as scary as if it truly had died.</div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-36061712998234998722009-06-02T10:19:00.000-07:002009-06-02T12:03:57.231-07:00This month of JuneOkay so this month I will be doing summer school 5 days a week, cutting back my hours at the office, working friday saturday and sunday. Shanika is gone for the summer and Becky is always busy. I feel like I am pretty much living alone most of the time. Everything is going to be fast paced and in my face. I am really stressed out about not going to church for a month...maybe I can make it to some Bible studies...or do one on my own. I miss my family and the simpler times. Everything is changing and that is what I love and crave, but that doesn't mean its easy. I guess nothing really ever is.Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-76305298704515251772009-05-16T11:32:00.000-07:002009-05-16T12:05:30.962-07:00Hello Ladies, swim here often?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkhqLdIXdOYLN2Bq84lFpuw9O6RlXUzLrAPRLtO9KWrHH8lH_XBRurjX0-bQYMZ8wcxm0CUzTtpjbOgf2FB7sQdy0Je3fEYlWI6kaWiUaZy7Ys7oID6i0aFxFw7zrfb2E02_mz30TcI3U/s1600-h/swimmy.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336498650623792306" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 258px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkhqLdIXdOYLN2Bq84lFpuw9O6RlXUzLrAPRLtO9KWrHH8lH_XBRurjX0-bQYMZ8wcxm0CUzTtpjbOgf2FB7sQdy0Je3fEYlWI6kaWiUaZy7Ys7oID6i0aFxFw7zrfb2E02_mz30TcI3U/s320/swimmy.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Okay okay so maybe he didn't say those exact words, but that pretty much seemed to be the gist of it. We came in minding our own business trying to have a sucessful day of swim lessons when he shows up(well actually he was there first). There was this lifeguard who seemed to have a lot of suggestions for us (Ly and me). First he suggested that we use the family dressing rooms to store our belongings, then ...to be honest I don't remember what else he suggested but he just seemed to want to talk...and we just wanted to swim. He asked if this was our first time there, and why hadn't he seen us before? And had the other guards talked to us? Poor guy. He was super polite so I couldn't just ignore him (as much as I wanted to). He would say things like pardon me, and if I may suggest....he even bowed. How can you be rude to a person who bows to you? I just couldn't do it. And because of that I know that he has life guarded for 6 years. Worked with the YMCA at the Meadows. Feels that his fellow rec center lifeguards are not very friendly and that they should talk to the patrons more and get to know them. By the way Ly is my number one star pupil. She is doing great!</div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-76606537587059372002009-05-02T11:55:00.000-07:002009-05-02T11:56:00.535-07:00personality<a href="http://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/results/?oR=0.825&cR=0.528&eR=0.656&aR=0.5&nR=0.312">I'm" a O76-C35-E64-A17-N14 Big Five!!</a>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-63889884540556654072009-04-30T11:56:00.000-07:002009-04-30T12:47:12.151-07:00Jury Duty...or as I like to call it "jury dookie"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7HejPS4NJFLI5ffA1kk5hNDRUe7fHzleFiGHR0W9O2k9gH318WdF6gTWsPpyKAZ2gnoJtNeGjAb6pYoOrBfsZs31rRr_eT65MDTanLBZ7YS5luWPcYdyBmSVFa5i9hlvc9tXkHS9gfFk/s1600-h/yawn.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330571621468912882" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 138px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7HejPS4NJFLI5ffA1kk5hNDRUe7fHzleFiGHR0W9O2k9gH318WdF6gTWsPpyKAZ2gnoJtNeGjAb6pYoOrBfsZs31rRr_eT65MDTanLBZ7YS5luWPcYdyBmSVFa5i9hlvc9tXkHS9gfFk/s320/yawn.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I had just been telling my friends how I have never been summoned for jury duty when bam! A summons....failure to respond could result in a contempt of court charge with a fine up to $500 and/or a bench warrant......BOO! what a cruel joke. Reporting date 4/29/09. Smack dab in the middle of study week. Are you kidding me?<br /><br /> So my days have consisted of studying all night then going to the library and studying more and trying to catch up on all the chapters I never got around to reading. ughhhh! I was trying to come up with a million reasons not to do this and how to get out of this. I was hoping that I would know the plaintiff. Just imagining the different people I knew who could have been arrested. ha ha ha<br /><br /> So I wake up very reluctantly at 6:30 to get ready I meant to take a shower the night before but was too tired and just fell asleep. I hop into the shower, pick out my outfit, try to find reading material, and my coloring book to keep me occupied. No time for break fast so I just run out the door at 7:22...I did not know where this place was and didn't want to go...I was going to be late for sure. I got down town at about 8:15 and call my sister to see if she can help me fine this place. She told me that if you are late they lock you out and you have to join the next session at noon so we should just go out for breakfast. Deal, I am sold. She picked me up and I spent the morning with her and my nephew Asher.<br /> we went to breakfast, went back to her house watched a family movie, and ran some errands. Afterwards we still had about 40mins till jury duty. I went in early and found a room full of people filling out paper work. It was a huge packet. ughhhh why paperwork why? I went to the front desk and explained that I missed my original time. The lady seemed very annoyed with me and said she would switch me to the noon session. (ha ha I didn't care.ha ha) whatever. </div><div> So we watched a cheesy movie about jury duty then i took a nap, read a letter, began reading "why the rest hates the west", took pictures of my jury summons and badge, listened to music, my batteries died, noticed a couple of cute guys in the room. I was just about to break out my pirates coloring book when the lady made an announcement....the case we were waiting for has been settled. The guy took a plea bargain. Not only do we not have to serve today we get stamped and will not be called for at least another 2 years. When asked about the paperwork, she said oh that was a completely different case and that THAT case was going to be a very long on going trial....Man all that to say it pays to be late sometimes! ha ha ha I love jury duty.</div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-38559368349536042572009-04-28T18:17:00.000-07:002009-04-28T18:41:04.877-07:00Where I'm from<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhte9HmQReWhuRnC8vAnu70bknoalbQA9Xmp0b5rQs29D4SVAwQj5t3x6Gb5ZKp9R_Yebnv82UyFQQh-yDShmzbnwx4hxN6OGQOs0mTdCXr3nhvNxHD86HpN8SDyMjT_ZpUOw6QWjXlNxI/s1600-h/familytreeimage.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329922247668339890" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 226px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhte9HmQReWhuRnC8vAnu70bknoalbQA9Xmp0b5rQs29D4SVAwQj5t3x6Gb5ZKp9R_Yebnv82UyFQQh-yDShmzbnwx4hxN6OGQOs0mTdCXr3nhvNxHD86HpN8SDyMjT_ZpUOw6QWjXlNxI/s320/familytreeimage.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I am from hand stitched baby quilts, from Ariel laundry detergent.</div><br /><div>I am from sibling filled rooms, curly hair, bilingual, fresh baked bread in the morning.</div><br /><div>I am from the coconut tree, hibiscus, and butterflies in the backyard, the mango tree, dandylion, black sand beaches.</div><br /><div>I am from picnics on the weekends, and full lips from Donna and from Magdalena, from Bart James and Diana Esmeralda and the Stinsons.</div><br /><div>I am from loyalty and laughter.</div><br /><div>From "your head is hard" and "prechet."</div><br /><div>I amd from church on sunday and really knowing the hand of God in my life.</div><br /><div>I am from Guam, wales, ireland, panama, talamanca, from coconut rice and cottage cheese and tomatoes.</div><br /><div>From the vision dad had from God while driving home and wondering how he even made it, and Michel saving my life at the age of 14 after I was trampled by a horse.</div><br /><div>I am from dusty bookshelves, boxes, treasures lost, I amd from memories now holy recorded in my heart, and the tears and sobs that pour out of him when he has to say goodbye. </div><br /><div></div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-45796031559935267612009-04-28T11:56:00.000-07:002009-04-28T12:03:23.729-07:00dead week<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnH33qP3KNiYprS1TP-pU6DiqE3Ksje9Eg7Gv57Pe2dDj9xUCpBWCf2aygwBBJiJIUGzSwXP6Wx5lvd0ow1DjqF0CLFQg4VyKUptJu21rwXa7oaozNJwxXotHNmStWxnC-iqecO5n8Q4k/s1600-h/sneeze_article.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329819778372285602" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 222px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnH33qP3KNiYprS1TP-pU6DiqE3Ksje9Eg7Gv57Pe2dDj9xUCpBWCf2aygwBBJiJIUGzSwXP6Wx5lvd0ow1DjqF0CLFQg4VyKUptJu21rwXa7oaozNJwxXotHNmStWxnC-iqecO5n8Q4k/s320/sneeze_article.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Allergies are stinking killing me right now. Just how many times can a person sneeze in a row with out the people next to her killing her?...or with out snot on her hands, dribble down her chin or the urge to puke....I think it is seven. Sorry library people I guess I am officially hated right now. Oh well I was here first. Back to my studies!................why so windy today?</div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1119781186606422916.post-3361125969319082852009-04-27T10:53:00.000-07:002009-04-27T11:01:09.926-07:00The need to write<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUQGVXgO4uKI3jW62jY15yTm1B9i5D4mS_broQMvENf9-lp7RlSUvIPTl4Kg4fcj6teKmCUzaGn0MdRNsFM9-MkrDrO5dsy7Pp-FCYWVnQvf1iq0ezcqUesI4FXZzRDQ4aFxdcz_P9YLc/s1600-h/023.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329432721199391602" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUQGVXgO4uKI3jW62jY15yTm1B9i5D4mS_broQMvENf9-lp7RlSUvIPTl4Kg4fcj6teKmCUzaGn0MdRNsFM9-MkrDrO5dsy7Pp-FCYWVnQvf1iq0ezcqUesI4FXZzRDQ4aFxdcz_P9YLc/s320/023.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>The truth is I need this. I need to write. I need to express so much that I've held in for so long. The truth is that I need to be honest with myself. I am not as indepedant as I thought, as strong as you assume. I'm fragile too. I am just as insecure. I don't always try to fix what is broken...I try to use it anyway. Sometimes I try to pretend my hurt away even though I know that solves nothing. I am great at sabbotage...at least when it comes to myself. I need a change. I need to change. Its a lonely place in this make believe world of false securities.</div>Honesty: the lost arthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17605240814658592734noreply@blogger.com1